This week's chapter, "Mary and Martha, Facing Death & Grief", looks at the book of John, chapter 11, verses 1 - 44. To refresh your memory of exactly who Mary and Martha are, take a look at Luke 10:38 - 42, noting the personalities of each sister.
This is the 5th time I've started this blog post! I haven't been happy with anything I've written so far. Previous attempts were too long, too wordy, too 'all over the place'. So, I put some time between me and my blog and will try once more!
So here's the deal: I don't like the subtitle of this chapter, Facing Death & Grief. Partly because I try to avoid facing death & grief, but mostly because, once I read the story and worked through the study questions, it dawned on me that death & grief have very little to do with the lesson. They are the catalyst for a greater event: "No, it is for the glory of God. I, the Son of God, will receive glory from this." (John 11:4).
These words, spoken by Jesus, influence how I viewed the rest of the story. Jesus knew that his dear friend was dead. Jesus knew what He was going to do once He arrived in Bethany. Jesus knew there was already a price on His head and that the Jewish leaders trying to kill him were near Bethany.
So, why did He go? See John 11:4. Every time I wondered at Jesus' reaction to His friends, I went back to His words in verse 4. The words echo as He tells His disciples that Lazarus is dead, not sleeping. I let them roll around in my head as He meets Martha who comes out to blame & praise Him. I let the words ring in my ear when Mary falls at Jesus' feet, blames Him for her brothers' death, and weeps. By now, I'm starting to feel why He was "moved with indignation and was deeply troubled" (John 11:33).
On top of all that happens, Jesus is faced with the reality of His friends' death. He weeps. And as He does, He can hear the whisperings of those gathered at the grave. Again, John 11:4 repeats in my head and again Jesus is "deeply troubled" (John 11:38). His words become short; His response to Martha is a question, not one of gentle reassurance. Then He speaks out loud to His Father "for the sake of all these people standing here, so they will believe you sent me." (John 11:42).
This is Jesus in his divinity wrapped in His humanity. It is in these last few passages, where I picture Jesus, biting His tongue, as those gathered to mourn, doubt who He is and what He can do. It is here where I want to shout, "Don't you get it!?! Jesus is God. Why do you doubt Him? Why do you blame Him? He's come to help, to show you first hand His promises and you blame him!" It makes me want to cry and scream and shout with joy at the amazing scene unfolding before my eyes. And yet, I know that I have been all of these characters, doubting, questioning, blaming God. So sad or lost that I cannot believe Him, even though I believe in Him.
It is this realization that brings me to my knees, asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness for those times of doubt, forgiveness for the times that I judged others in their doubt.
So, my final thought is this: in times of sadness, loneliness, grief, doubt, questioning, or frustration, I need to come back to Jesus' words: "No, it is for the glory of God. I, the Son of God, will receive glory from this." (John 11:4). He will meet me where I am, just as He met Martha & Mary, with the promise, "Didn't I tell you that you will see God's glory if you believe?" (John 11:40)!
Your Partner In Ministry,
Shelly
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